My Favourite Thing

Now I don't know if you guys remember, but my girlfriend is a Twilight fanatic. She steamed her way through the first two books like a 19th century cross country locomotive and although I didn't approve of Stephenie Meyers writing I ordered her the third book as a surprise.

Unfortunately I also ordered a DVD from Australia at the same time, a DVD that was supposed to take four weeks to get here. BIG mistake.

Apparently Australia is quite far away. Well that's what I've been told.

When Lee decided to run off and get herself Eclipse I had to step in and let her know that I'd ordered if for her, thereby ruining the surprise. In doing this I killed a can of worms and opened up a whole new set at the same time. She wasn’t going to run off and buy the book but she also wanted to know when it would arrive, every day, all day.

My MSN account is flooded with messages asking me to e mail Take 2 and request that they send the book separately from the DVD so that my girlfriend wouldn't have to go cold turkey for too long.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the projected day of arrival was the 17th of February. I was too worried that she might go crazy and hold up a book store with a mask and an AK47. I didn't want to be guilty by association, no sir.

Imagine my relief then when the package arrived yesterday morning. I spent the whole day riling Lee up, telling her that Take 2 had lost the shipment and that it would take another 3 weeks. Obviously she was bumbed out, but she's a nice person so she refused to go and buy the book like a normal person. She decided that she'd have to wait.

When I got home last night I walked to the dining room table and she was cooking dinner (because my life rocks like that). I put my bag down, opened it up and muttered

Tom: Oh shit...crap; look at this (worried face)

Lee: What? What? (Walks up to me)

Tom: Your book arrived!!!!!!

Lee: Weeeeee!!!!!! (These are squeals of unrequited joy)

So I was in the good books. I didn't get to take advantage of though because when I came home from gym her face was already buried in the pages.

Cool.

I played some poker, watched some TV, read some books. She was still reading.

I wanted to go to bed. She was still reading.

I woke up this morning to find that she got up early, dressed and ate so that she'd get a fresh start to the day. Not, it's so she could read.

I actually think it's all kind of cute but, just for fun, I've developed a condescending smile I give her when I find her soaking in Edward Cullen and his band of soppy poofs.

It goes like this:

Tom: *condescending smile

Lee slowly looks up

Lee: Don't look at me like that!!!!!!

Tom: *condescending smile

Lee: You're making me feel guilty!!!!!!

Tom: *walks away

Lee: But I love you!!!!!!!


It's my favourite thing and it doesn't cost a cent. If Mrs. Meyer plans to swallow my girlfreind whole with her VERY average writing yet (supposedly) compelling story line I don't plan to go down without a fight. I'm going to play the guilt card.

It's on.

This is what Stephen King had to say about all of this commotion:

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good"

Well played sir. Well played.