Friday, November 28, 2008

I'll be thinking of those unfortunate souls stuck in the northern hemisphere when I'm roasting alive this weekend!

It took me an hour to drive 10 km's (about 4 miles for American readers) this morning. For some reason traffic this week has been horrendous. I left late last night hoping that it would make a difference, but alas no. Lionel Ritchie was in concert about 4km's from my house and everybody was qued up to get some parking. This might not have been so bad if the loyal Mr Ritchie supporters hadn't mixed themselves into the already frustrating rush hour traffic, but they did and we all suffered.

To make matters worse, my CD player has been on the Frtiz lately. This meant that all I had to listen to was the radio. It's amazing that each of the 6 stations I have saved manage to bore me to tears with mindless repitition and bad DJ's. At least I'm very up to date with current affairs (Thank 702 news for the quarter hour news reports).

Anyhow. I'm stoked today because I'm leaving work at 2 to go to this festival. We'll (all my friendly friends) all be camping out together, drinking to much and taking regular puffs from my awesome Cobra shaped hubly. What's more is that I'll also be playing at this festival on saturday afternoon on the main stage. Hooray, we haven't had a gig in about a month so it should be good. I'm buying some wellington boots and some rugby shorts and I'm going to play in that I think. South African summers are HOT.

I'll also be writing about the festival for Funk Magazine which is going to be wicked!

So it's going to be a great weekend. I hope ya'll have a fantastic one and I'll keep you in mind when I'm in the sweltering summer sun. Enjoy the snow!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Psuedo feminism boils me blood

Take a look at this crap:

If I were a boyEven just for a dayI’d roll outta bed in the morningAnd throw on what I wanted then goDrink beer with the guysAnd chase after girlsI’d kick it with who I watedAnd I’d never get confronted for it.Cause they’d stick up for me.

If I were a boyI think I could understandHow it feels to love a girlI swear I’d be a better man.I’d listen to herCause I know how it hurtsWhen you lose the one you wantedCause he’s taken you for grantedAnd everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boyI could turn off my phoneTell evveryone it’s brokenSo they’d think that I was sleepin’ aloneI’d put myself firstAnd make the rules as I goCause I know that she’d be faithfulWaitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

It’s a little too late for you to come backSay its just a mistakeThink I’d forgive you like thatIf you thought I would wait for youYou thought wrong

But you’re just a boyYou don’t understandYeah you don’t understandHow it feels to love a girl somedayYou wish you were a better manYou don’t listen to herYou don’t care how it hurtsUntil you lose the one you wantedCause you’ve taken her for grantedAnd everything you have got destroyedBut you’re just a boy

Um, screw you Beyonce and the 'independant woman' that wrote this song.

If you're so Goddamn awesome then why waste your time bitching about a suposedly typical male role within society? If I had to record a hit song about female stereotypes - ala "My Girlfriend never stops bitching at me, all she wants is my money, I wish she'd grow a personality rather than subscribe to the 'Im just an innocent, viginal and naive cheerleader " then I'd be assaulted by feminine activists and accused of being a chauvenistic,partiarchal asshole.

If we're really as equal as you say we are then how about you stop bitching about the differences that you incessantly highlight. Woman aren't stronger/smarter/quicker than men. We each have our genetic ticks and crosses.

Jesus Christ, I'm tired of reading watered down pro woman articles that list all the reasons why guys are inferior. You've all engineered the roles you hate for yourself, not us.

Good God, please please please just stop fucking whining.

If burning my eyes out with a hot iron and plugging my ears with steel are the only ways for me to escape your pseudo feministic justification of the places you inhabit within society then so be it.

Can you tell I'm angry?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Where are all the dudes?

Seriously. I love blogs like this times a ton but sometimes I get tired of reading about shoes and bags and gossip girl. Where are all the dudes on here? I'm beginning to feel like my masculinity is melting away, leaving me a dried out husk of a man.

Who's writing about sport and TV's and appliances and building houses with your bare hands. I want some caveman adventures. If anyone reading this blog knows of a dude like this then drop me the link!


Moving and Other Interesting Things (To Me)


So after a weeks worth of crazy stress we've finally moved in. On the day that we did I also happened to write my last exam for my degree, so now I've officially finished university as well.

It all happened so quickly. One moment I was a student without a job the next a working man with a flat and everything. It's been quite an adjustment and getting used to the fact that I will probably never 'live' with my parents again is scary, because I love them and they're awesome.

On Monday night Nic and Megan came around and we had some Hubbly on one of our balconies which was really nice. It's such a refreshing feeling to know i'm literally a few km's away from my friends and that I can hang out with them whenever I like. Poker will ensue soon I'm sure.

Being able to get to work in only half an hour has been a winner as well. Getting up at about 7:30 and leaving an hour later is so much more relaxing than having to wake up at 6:30 and rush to make sure I'm in the car to sit in traffic for an hour and a half. I think I'm going to like life closer to work a lot more, effectively I'm getting 2 hours a day back to do whatever I like. Wonder!

My lady has also been super great the last couple of days. Shame, she started work yesterday and she was so tired last night, we both went to bed at around 9. I tried to read but I passed out from being sleepy before I finished a page.

I spent about 3 hours putting together the Godforsaken dresser on Monday night. Turns out that the instructions just assumed that if you had performed the action of putting screw NR322 into hole CR12 then you'd independantly divine to do it the next time around with no explanation. It was definately a project for those that are more mechanically inclined than I am but I got it done.

I really want to get an old record players. My parents have some awesome stuff Vinyl back home like The Police and Queen and i think I'm going to get into it. I've heard that on CD everything is compressed to such an extent that it cuts out all the highs and lows of the music which doesn't give you a real feeling of what the band really sounded like. Being the music geek that I am, the promise of hearing some of my favorite albums in a whole new way is too exciting. I'm trawling Gumtree as we speak for the oldest and raddest LP player around.

The TV saving is also going well. If my estimations are correct I should be able to go out and get me a 32" in about a month, which is awesome! Hooray for that. I'm not sure why guys are so obsessed with everything Audio Visual but we just are. In fact, when we arrived on Monday the first room I sorted out was the TV room. Not the kitchen where you eat, or the bedroom where you sleep, but loft..where the TV and my Hi Fi and the Wii and my CD's and my DVD's and the Satelite connection is.

I'm just glad Lee was out at the time.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I Hate Stupid People

I hate stupid people. I dislike them almost as much as I like breathing.

I hate the way they blankly stare at me when I've finished a sentence, almost suggesting that it will and should take 3 to 4 minutes to process what I've just said. Seriously, your brain is not an egg boiling in a kettle somewhere, it's supposed to be the high powered processing tool that conquered nature and put us into space. Please don't let your forefathers down by letting slip the basic tenants of language and interpretation.

When I've finished speaking to you, please don't look at me as if I am rambling away in Japanese. I am not from Osaka. I don't harvest rice in the pouring rain whilst sporting a straw hat. All I'm trying to do is convey to you in the most simple terms what I'm trying to say.

When you give me that blank stare that says "I have the mental capacity of a bobble head doll" it makes me want to write on your face with a blowtorch. It makes be want to open the top of your head and shit in it - just for the charity. After all, that would be an improvement right?

I don't like it when you say stupid things. Making the broad and sweeping statement that America is a racist country the day after their first black President is elected is retarded.

As people I'm sure you're very useful and you have your place in society but that doesn't mean you are qualified to voice your opinions. I don't care if you went to university, I don't care if you have a Doctorate in Microbiology. If you opened a third cellphone contract in order to replace the phones stolen from the last (and currently running) two then there is no other way of looking at it. You need smart people to make decisions for you.

Please deliver yourself to the nearest doctor to have yourself sterilised immeditately, lest you procreate and populate the world with your numbskulled and half witted offspring.

Thank you.

Moving Out

On Monday I'm moving out to my very own flat with my lovely girlfriend. It is in Lonehill.

This flat of mine has one bedroom and two balconies. It is a loft.

We have been buying furniture.

Our L couch arrives in Mid December.

In order not to be evicted I have to pay 'Rent'. This 'Rent' comes from my now stable 'Income' which has arisen as a result of my 'Job' as a copywriter.

This has all made me grow up rather quickly I'm afraid, and I feel kind of old.

One big plus is that I got a Mastercard, which meant I can buy stuff online. My Wes Anderson Box Set arrives in a few days.

Anyone want to give me a TV?