Thursday, February 12, 2009


In the past three or four months I have learned two things.

Relationships Can Be Hard.

When I was in high school I always thought that when you moved in with your significant other everything would magically take care of itself. Arguments would be a thing of the past and a selection of woodland animals would dress, clean and bathe you to your hearts delight. Living happily ever after was a prerequisite of course.

It’s not always like that is it? Sometimes people and their characters can make it a little bit harder to play nice. I'm not going to get into it too much today because I'm feeling a little drained (don't worry, everything's fine), just trust that I'll be back tomorrow with a big smile on my face.


I Can Be an Asshole

All men, no matter how meek or mild, have at least a small measure of that chromosome that turns us into selfish, grunting douche bags. As much as I hate to admit it, this chemical is known to course and flow through my system now and again and I become the guy that you complain to your girlfriends about. I always learn from these episodes of douchery but sometimes it can take me a while.


PS: I am NOT saying that women are perfect. There is a definitively bitchy gene that acts as a counter to the asshole gene in men.

As I'm sure you can tell, I'm not in much of a bloggish mood this afternoon. Forgive me; it happens to the best of us.


MudIsland Mike said...

Oh, yes we can all be douches... But it all evens itself out with the bitch factor of the ladies. I wouldn't beat yourself up about anything Tom, the sooner we all accept that we will all have our moments, arguments will become shorter and easier to get over...


po said...

I try my best not to be a bitch but it is impossible. It is brought out by you creatures :)

Bella@That damn expat said...

People who live together fight together. It doesn't matter if it's parents, siblings or the significant other.

The point is in not being mean on purpose. When you start intentionally hurting each other on a regular basis you should rethink this whole relationship.

Being Brazen said...

I live with my boyf and we fight sometimes. I think when two people are really close emotionally and physically its easy to be "real" with that person. So i think sometimes we bring the issues, bad moods home....I think you have to learn to love and be kind to your partner everyday...
kind of a conscious decision.

dizzblnd said...

It's all good. It DOES happen to all of us. I am happy that a man is recognizing the asshole gene in himself. Byt your wrong.. women don't have a bitch gene.. ;P

Astharis said...

I think that anyone can be selfish at times, and often that gets taken out on those closest to us. So long as you apologise and make it up to them then you're never a true ass!

Mohammade Check said...

I follow Astharis on her opinion.

I don't think it's a matter of gene factor and anyone can have its selfish moment.
How you (both of you) deal with it makes the difference and imo it's finally about respecting each other.

Also, I don't really like the word "fighting" some may employ when talking about a disagreement.
People, especially if they love each other, should be able to explain themselves without rising the tension.

Whenever I feel a tension with my wife I try to make her relax and talk to me... and vice versa.

Communication, if not everything, is crucial

Helen said...

It's easy to take out frustration with life on the person closest to oyu - whch can tend to be the significant other...

I remember having a bad week and becoming a totaly bitch, and while I'm always quick to realsie it and apologise, but after a while that's not enough and you actually have to change your behaviour. Or in my case get a big cup of coffee and walk away...

Tamara said...

Like Bella said... people who live together fight together.

And every woman has an innner bitch. some just let her out more often than others.

Likewise, every guy has the ability to be a real asshole. I'm glad you are man enough to admit that.

Thomas said...

Mudisland Mike: Cheers sir! You sound like the kinda guy I could have a beer with.

Po: It's true, because men are the instigators of everything crap in the world hey?:)

Bella: I agree with you. Everyone gets mean sometimes but being mean on purpose isn't cool.

Brazen: It is a concious decision and sometimes it can be tough to be the bigger man and enforce that!

Dizzblnd: You're right, and my grandmother is a silver back gorilla:)

Astharis: I'm never a real ass then!

Tamara: I think we all have that factor inside of us. It's when you're a bitch/asshole and you never realise it that you have the real problem!

mylifescape said...

ah, i hear you hey! after moving in with my girlfriend, i thought things would get better, but alas... no... they've gotten harder! relationships take work, and sometimes they work on their own.

and at the best of times i'm a nice girl... but don't get me on a bad day *BIATCH* from no where! lol :) happy friday

~Sheila~ said...


Yeah, Living with someone definitally takes its toll on both of you. Formalities are thrown out of the window and all your disgusting habits are brought to light.


Women can be bitches (of course, I've known a few men who were complete bitches but that's another story).
There's something about living in close quarters and not being along that sends everyone over the edge.
It's an adjustment.
The transition will happen.

Then you get used to being around them and never want to be alone.