Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My Favourite Thing

Now I don't know if you guys remember, but my girlfriend is a Twilight fanatic. She steamed her way through the first two books like a 19th century cross country locomotive and although I didn't approve of Stephenie Meyers writing I ordered her the third book as a surprise.

Unfortunately I also ordered a DVD from Australia at the same time, a DVD that was supposed to take four weeks to get here. BIG mistake.

Apparently Australia is quite far away. Well that's what I've been told.

When Lee decided to run off and get herself Eclipse I had to step in and let her know that I'd ordered if for her, thereby ruining the surprise. In doing this I killed a can of worms and opened up a whole new set at the same time. She wasn’t going to run off and buy the book but she also wanted to know when it would arrive, every day, all day.

My MSN account is flooded with messages asking me to e mail Take 2 and request that they send the book separately from the DVD so that my girlfriend wouldn't have to go cold turkey for too long.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that the projected day of arrival was the 17th of February. I was too worried that she might go crazy and hold up a book store with a mask and an AK47. I didn't want to be guilty by association, no sir.

Imagine my relief then when the package arrived yesterday morning. I spent the whole day riling Lee up, telling her that Take 2 had lost the shipment and that it would take another 3 weeks. Obviously she was bumbed out, but she's a nice person so she refused to go and buy the book like a normal person. She decided that she'd have to wait.

When I got home last night I walked to the dining room table and she was cooking dinner (because my life rocks like that). I put my bag down, opened it up and muttered

Tom: Oh shit...crap; look at this (worried face)

Lee: What? What? (Walks up to me)

Tom: Your book arrived!!!!!!

Lee: Weeeeee!!!!!! (These are squeals of unrequited joy)

So I was in the good books. I didn't get to take advantage of though because when I came home from gym her face was already buried in the pages.


I played some poker, watched some TV, read some books. She was still reading.

I wanted to go to bed. She was still reading.

I woke up this morning to find that she got up early, dressed and ate so that she'd get a fresh start to the day. Not, it's so she could read.

I actually think it's all kind of cute but, just for fun, I've developed a condescending smile I give her when I find her soaking in Edward Cullen and his band of soppy poofs.

It goes like this:

Tom: *condescending smile

Lee slowly looks up

Lee: Don't look at me like that!!!!!!

Tom: *condescending smile

Lee: You're making me feel guilty!!!!!!

Tom: *walks away

Lee: But I love you!!!!!!!

It's my favourite thing and it doesn't cost a cent. If Mrs. Meyer plans to swallow my girlfreind whole with her VERY average writing yet (supposedly) compelling story line I don't plan to go down without a fight. I'm going to play the guilt card.

It's on.

This is what Stephen King had to say about all of this commotion:

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good"

Well played sir. Well played.


Anonymous said...

Awww - you're a good boyfriend! :)

I don't care how "bad" her writing is I will always have a soft spot for Twilight. *sigh* But they're on my shelf and they'll stay there for a while. I couldn't let J go through yet another week of Twilight. Poor boy never got any attention.


Bella@That damn expat said...

Is that what he said? Good for him.
He echoes the sentiments of readers everywhere.

Being Brazen said...

You are an awesome boyfriend.

My boyfriend likes it when i was reading the whole twilight saga - he got to play alot of computer games...heehee

I must agree with Stephen King - Stephenie Meyers writing is not great - but the story is still totally addictive and romantic.


Astharis said...

The issue that I have with Harry Potter & Twilight is that they were written for children/teens. They're not grown up books.

Having said that, my boyfriend still loves watching cartoons, so I guess I can't really go down too hard on folks that enjoy those books. :p

Helen said...

I have yet t read a Twilight book, and I think it might stay that way for a bit! I'll probably watch the movie when it goes to DVD though...

My word verification is botox. Is blogger trying to send me a message?

Thomas said...

Sleepyjane: That's how I feel! lost and lonely. The book should come with a heads up letter for boyfriends!

Bella: He really said that. Cool hey?:)

Brazen: I overplayed X Box now, I thought it would be great but all this free time is kind of making me twitch now!

Astharis:I don't get it either, but then again I loved the Harry Potters. It's nice to havea new commenter:)

Helen: Wow that's wierd, I've always hoped I'd get a full word but so far no dice. You must be lucky!

PunkyBean said...

Somehow my curiousity is going to get the better of me and I'm going to end up reading the books. Is she really that terrible of a writer?

Coconut said...

I would agree that the writing is not that good, but the story is totally addicting! Your GF has some will power if she could wait that long to read the third one!

~Sheila~ said...

Hi. My first time here.
I came over from Andy's (Wild ARS Chase).

I totally understand the level of neglect associated with those Twilight books.
My son Dom is a huge Twilight fan and he's 13.
Your good to play it out that way and not make a big deal about reading.
It could have been worse, you could replace EVERY "read" or "reading" word in your blog with "doing crack" ....

Then this post would have a totally different feel to it.

I'll be back!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...


i love the bit where you say 'because my life rocks like that' about coming home to your gf making dinner.

more men need to say shit like that.

oh. and i haven't bothered with twilight.

there is not, and will never be, a wordsmith like Stephen King.

angel said...

heh heh, you're very right. enjoyable, but not brilliant- and very definitely aimed at a younger crowd.
i'm STILL trying to read twilight- and while it is enjoyable, its not a king/ koontz/ rice/ pratchett...

Thomas said...

Punky: Words can't express're just going to have to believe me

Coconut: I think she stored it all up , because she read book 3 and 4 in one weekend..shocking

Sheila: Ha ha, you are too right. Tell Andt I say thanks, looking forward to hearing more from you:)

Expensive: Ha ha, but my life does really rock like that. Not having to make supper is awesome. Oh and too right on Mr. King

Angel: Just don't go too far down the rabbit hole!