Friday, January 30, 2009

Movie Time

Movies are an eventful experience with my lady.

Every time we head off to the cinemas to take in a piece of theatrical cinema we go through the same old rigmarol.

1) She's always late.

Is this just a girl thing or am I the only guy that suffers from this? No matter what happens, even if she's been getting ready for an hour I'll find myself tapping my toes and looking at the clock on the wall while she changes her bag, does her make up, ties up her hair.

This will ultimately annoy her. She'll come stomping out of the bathroom, hairbrush in hand and tell me that she'll be ready in a second and that I'm too fucking impatient.

2) We'll rush to get a ticket

And the line will be a mile long. We'll decide to use the self service swipe machine and she'll lecture me on how I should be swiping my card. I will get annoyed, because I've done it eleventy million times before.

3) We'll sneak in illegitamate food and drink

Have you seen the prices of popcorn lately? I'm not paying that. Now I know why piracy is so rife, it's the popcorn prices. Instead we'll slink off to the sweet shop and buy some treats, we both get Lipton Green Tea. It's just what we do.

We hide the sneaky treats in her bag. Turns out I should complain less about the time and consideration she takes in picking one.

4) Handing in tickets

At this point we'll head to the ticket collector woman/man and join the line to hand in our stubs. If ANYONE pushes in front of me I make them pay. One father in fact had his six year old son 'accidentaly' face planted into the ground by my foot for transgressing the sanctity of the line.

I'm joking.

Not really.

Ok I am.

Or am I?

5) We take our seats

Unless these are brand new lazy boys that are ergonomically designed and climate controlled Lee will probably complain about them.

6) We watch the trailers

And I try to make sense of what's happening on the screen while Lee tugs on my arm and tell sme she how she wants to see this move and how she loves this actress. She wants to see EVERY movie. She squealed when she saw the trailer for Mama Mia, I love her but seriously.

7) Paper crackling freakout

If anyone and I mean anyone, should have the audacity to rudely reach into their box of popcorn or re arrange their sweet packet Lee will cringe. She finds this super annoying. I tell her several times (8 at least) throughout the movie to just calm down.

8) Kissy Kissy Freakout

If there is any Sexy Time onscreen Lee will freak out. It embarasses her and she hides in my arm when it happens. If it involves boobs I love it. Polar opposites I tell you.

9) The Movie Ends

And we have to get out of there AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!

10) Cake Time

We get cake and coffee. Sweet hey?


What's watching a movie with your significant other like?


Bella@That damn expat said...

Routine much?

Me and mah man have long ago resigned to not watching movies together. He's your typical guy with his love for all things action and horror.
I prefer comedies and dramas.
The middle ground is thrillers, tv shows and sports.

momcat said...

Cinema time should be girls or guys night out because of the difference in tastes. I go to the movies with the kids, we also sneak in chocolate and drinks, if its not freezing (usually is) I have been known to fall asleep especially if it is not an action or thriller - seriously! And then I get mad cos its a waste of money. We usually get DVD's now cos I can always play it again!

Anonymous said...

Watching you guys go to movies may actually be more entertaining than the movie :)

angel said...

we get there in enough time to buy tickets between movies.
we buy sweets elsewhere and stash them in my bag.
queue jumping? i'm the same, and my glugs is usually the one asking me not to make a scene, lol!
we watch the movie, since thats what we're there to do.
i squeal and giggle and laugh and often drop my popcorn- but not inappropriately i don't think!

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Haha, I always smuggle food and drinks in. I'm not paying those outrageous prices!

Anonymous said...

It's always the same thing - what to watch. J despises "chick flicks" and I hate any movie about war. So we settle on a comedy or a horror or some other movie with a hot lead male actor. haha

That's basically the hardest part.
Oh and then after getting popcorn waiting for J to completely destroy it with all the spices on there are. Salt and Vinegar? Sure! Chives? YES please! Butter? Yummy! That usually takes ten minutes.

Thomas said...

Bella: Oh just a litte:) You've probably got it right!

Momcat: DVD's for us would be awesome except for the fact that my lady doesn't enjoy watching too many movies the second time over!

Harassed: Ha ha. Yes. It would be.

Angel: So glad to hear I'm not the only enforcer of line etiquette:)

Classy: SNAP! Seriously, isn't popcorn just heated corn anyway?

Sleepyjane: Once I decorated our popcorn with all the spices as well. I thought it was great but Lee didn't so much!

Helen said...

I have managed to sneak an entire steers meal in in my bag before! It wasn't mine, but as I'm quite often the only girl in a group of guys who like to pretend I am a guy until they need something snuck into a movie...

And the poppcorn at the movies isn't even fresh anymore! the buy it prepopped! There is no way I am going to stand ina queue for 10 hours to get prepopped possibly stale popcorn... to bad I'm addicted to the blue slush puppies!

~Sheila~ said...

Well, since you asked...

My husband and I rarely go to the movies. He falls asleep. He actually falls asleep and snores like a bear in the theater.

I prefer to take the children. We go to the dollar movies (because they actually cost $1) and we take our blankets and tons of snacks. You can read about some of it here:

That pretty much sums it up.