Movie Time

Movies are an eventful experience with my lady.

Every time we head off to the cinemas to take in a piece of theatrical cinema we go through the same old rigmarol.

1) She's always late.

Is this just a girl thing or am I the only guy that suffers from this? No matter what happens, even if she's been getting ready for an hour I'll find myself tapping my toes and looking at the clock on the wall while she changes her bag, does her make up, ties up her hair.

This will ultimately annoy her. She'll come stomping out of the bathroom, hairbrush in hand and tell me that she'll be ready in a second and that I'm too fucking impatient.

2) We'll rush to get a ticket

And the line will be a mile long. We'll decide to use the self service swipe machine and she'll lecture me on how I should be swiping my card. I will get annoyed, because I've done it eleventy million times before.

3) We'll sneak in illegitamate food and drink

Have you seen the prices of popcorn lately? I'm not paying that. Now I know why piracy is so rife, it's the popcorn prices. Instead we'll slink off to the sweet shop and buy some treats, we both get Lipton Green Tea. It's just what we do.

We hide the sneaky treats in her bag. Turns out I should complain less about the time and consideration she takes in picking one.

4) Handing in tickets

At this point we'll head to the ticket collector woman/man and join the line to hand in our stubs. If ANYONE pushes in front of me I make them pay. One father in fact had his six year old son 'accidentaly' face planted into the ground by my foot for transgressing the sanctity of the line.

I'm joking.

Not really.

Ok I am.

Or am I?

5) We take our seats

Unless these are brand new lazy boys that are ergonomically designed and climate controlled Lee will probably complain about them.

6) We watch the trailers

And I try to make sense of what's happening on the screen while Lee tugs on my arm and tell sme she how she wants to see this move and how she loves this actress. She wants to see EVERY movie. She squealed when she saw the trailer for Mama Mia, I love her but seriously.

7) Paper crackling freakout

If anyone and I mean anyone, should have the audacity to rudely reach into their box of popcorn or re arrange their sweet packet Lee will cringe. She finds this super annoying. I tell her several times (8 at least) throughout the movie to just calm down.

8) Kissy Kissy Freakout

If there is any Sexy Time onscreen Lee will freak out. It embarasses her and she hides in my arm when it happens. If it involves boobs I love it. Polar opposites I tell you.

9) The Movie Ends

And we have to get out of there AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!

10) Cake Time

We get cake and coffee. Sweet hey?

*THE END*

What's watching a movie with your significant other like?